Dating Apps 101

What’s your love language? 

Not necessarily the best opening question on a first date, but Shawn figured why not, this was just some woman he connected with on a dating app. He spent a long time firmly against apps, but after a recent break-up and being that it was the 4th of July weekend, he decided to take a friend’s advice and give dating apps a try. 

Within 45 minutes of downloading the app the muscles in his hand started to cramp from swiping: left, left, left, left, right, left. When he wasn’t sure, he swiped left. Unless, of course, when he felt especially lonely, then he swiped right on everyone. By the next morning, he had 7 matches and conversations with two women that seemed promising. By that afternoon he was scheduled for his first date. Her name was Amanda.

Shawn and Amanda met at Atlas Cafe on 20th and Alabama. She had a beautiful dark skin tone, it had a silkiness that was so vibrant Shawn got distracted. He stared at her as if he was in a trance-like state. She had thick lips and deep almond eyes. He couldn’t believe a woman this beautiful was still single. 

Amanda wasn’t as taken with his appearance. He was handsome and looked enough like his pictures. She kept her expectations limited. Her goal was to find out as soon as possible if this was another one of the non-committal Peter Pan’s that have run amok in San Francisco or if he was interested in something real. For some reason she was on a dating app looking for something real. 

The conversation went smoothly. Shawn made Amanda laugh. When she laughed especially hard she snorted. The snorting reminded Shawn of the character Steve Urkel from the 90s sitcom Family Matters. A few hours went by and they were still at the Cafe. Shawn suggested they go for a walk; Amanda agreed. They went north-bound on Mission Street. They talked about gentrification, homelessness, London Breed, God. Nothing seemed off limits. They felt connected.

Amanda abruptly stopped walking as if something was deeply troubling her. Shawn could sense she was disturbed and thought maybe it was his statement about La Taqueria being the best burrito spot in the city. 

“Listen, Shawn, I have to tell you something. You also matched with my best friend Brittany. We both asked to see you tonight to see who you would pick. Why did you pick me instead of her?” 

Shawn was stuck. He started to negotiate these internal feelings of anxiety, shame, and fear. Is this online dating? Is she for real? Many more questions ran in his mind as she waited for an answer to her question. 

“I liked your energy.” He remembered that line from a Drake song. He always figured he could count on Drake to get him out of a tight spot with a woman. She smiled. That answer made her feel good. They kept walking. He walked her home. 

The next morning Shawn had 4 more matches on his dating app. He never spoke to Amanda again. 

Book Recommendation: Art of Seduction